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Dancing shadow


Published by Sunday Punch Dagupan Pangasinan April 22, 2019

Dancing shadow

By Virginia Jasmin Pasalo


When I was twenty, it is as if I could do almost anything.  I felt invincible. I fearlessly committed mistakes, because I was young and had all the time to correct them. I loved to the full, irrespective of the risk and the pain, without anything to gain. I did not think much. Sometimes I did not think at all. My instincts guided me.

As I grew older however, I became aware of my vulnerability, I observed caution, I weighed the pros and cons, I gave in, almost always, to reason. I began to rely less on the instinct that carried me to my successes, and avoided as much as possible, committing any mistakes. I became a captive of my formal education, which supplanted my gut learning. It is a different route to achieving, with more or less predictable outcomes, but truly boring.

My DNA insisted on a turning point. It reclaimed itself from the slow dying and self-immolating processes that accompany the academic disciplines I pursued.

At the point of giving up, I go back to who I was, how I was, and where my instincts had taken me. By doing this, I regain my wholeness, holiness if you will. I am again able to honor my gifts, gifts I was born with, and gifts others gave me. I continue to reach for my stars, with the same passion as I had, when I was standing on the edge, unafraid to live on the brink, at twenty.

I dance, once more, with my own shadow.


Dancing Shadow

I watched her dance around the tree
and listened to her plaintive song
She took her dress off,
and opened her arms to the heavens,
offering herself to the gods.

She cried, breathing heavily
like she was breathing her last.

Then she raised a toast
and begged the moon and stars
to settle on her glass
and they descended
on the wine, which she drank
as she laughed.

That is how i remember her
a dancing shadow in the night
with a glass of wine in her hand
defying the darkness
drinking the moonlight.

I remember her always
when I think of giving up.


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